It took me a very long time to recognize I have PTSD from medical settings because it isn’t often talked about. It’s taken me even longer to figure out how to accommodate myself in those settings. In all honesty, I don’t have it completely figured out. There are still times when I leave an appointment only to puke my guts out in the office bathroom or have a panic attack in the car. But overall, accommodating myself has allowed me to be in medical settings and put make my health a priority again. I hope that this post serves as a place where we can all share our tips and tricks!
Two things to note before I get into the post:
- These may not work for everyone, and some accommodations take some level of privilege to execute.
- I never disclose my medical PTSD to physical health providers. There’s no shame or judgement in doing so. I’m sure there are measures that good medical professionals would take to ease my anxiety if I were to disclose my PTSD to them, however, I’m not at the phase in my life where I feel comfortable discussing that with them. I view this as a protective measure for myself, and something that only my mental health providers truly need to know. Therefore, the measures I discuss within this article are going to be solely self-implemented accommodations.
Scheduling Appointments
- If I’m able to spread out my appointments, I do so. I try very hard to not have more than one appointment a week, or at the very least, one appointment a day. This offers me more time to mentally prepare myself going into appointments and to decompress afterwards.
- If I’m able, I purposely plan my appointments at an earlier time in the day so that I don’t spend the whole day anxiously awaiting my appointment. I find I’m much less nervous if I get a spot earlier during the day, and I feel like providers are more willing to listen and take their time with me, as opposed to the end of the day when they may be running late or just want to get home.
- I purposely plan buffer time into my appointment days. If I have to be somewhere after an appointment, I try to plan for decompression time afterwards-even if it’s just twenty minutes in the car after.
- I’ve taken up the habit of researching my doctors before I visit them. I look at the reviews of other patients and see what their testimonials are. While this isn’t really foolproof, I find that if the doctor has rave reviews, I’m less anxious to attend an appointment.
- On that note, my general experience is that if I can get into a notoriously difficult to book specialist within the week, that’s telling about how desired they are. This isn’t true for everyone, but it’s been my experience. So I oftentimes wait for the people with waitlists because my experiences are generally better.)
- If I can, I schedule a therapy session in the days following my appointment so my therapist can help me debrief and process my appointment if I feel I need it.
Before Appointments
- The night before appointments, I plan out my outfit. I probably put way too much effort into the thought process of how I appear to medical professionals- I’ll unpack that another day. But going through the mental gymnastics of choosing an outfit the night before saves me stress the day of.
- Maybe it’s just me, but whenever I go into an appointment, my mind instantly goes blank. So, I’ve taken up the habit of writing down exactly what I want to say to medical professionals in my phone. I’ll often run these by family or friends to see if I’m missing anything important.
- I also prep any documents or research I plan to bring the night before. I’ll paperclip similar documents together and highlight relevant passages in research. This ensures I don’t waste time digging for papers and I come across more organized and knowledgeable.
- If I’m bringing someone with me, I’ll also go over if and when I want them to speak up, what concerns I’ll be discussing, if I want them to step in and stop dismissive doctors, and any other things I deem important. This way, if I forget to bring up a topic, or I feel a doctor is being dismissive, they can step in and advocate for me.
- On the car ride there, I bring a stuffed animal to keep me company in the car and give me something to ground myself with. I also play music that makes me feel powerful and confident, in order to instill myself with badass energy.
- Before I go into an appointment, I try to tell myself affirmations such as “I’m in control” and “I know my body best.” Because sometimes you just need a simple reminder of the fact that you’re a badass who’s in complete control of the situation.
During an appointment
- I also have a terrible memory, so I oftentimes will ask a doctor if I can record our conversations. 99% of the time, they’ll say yes. On top of letting me remember everything talked about, I also found this is a great way to hold them accountable and make sure they think twice about what they’re saying, since I’ll have recorded proof of conversation.
- Because of time constraints, sometimes it isn’t possible to discuss everything I want to discuss. Therefore, I prioritize what I deem most important first. If we don’t make it through the list and the doctor is seeming to wrap up the appointment, I make sure to mention that I have other concerns I wanted to discuss and give a two-three word idea of what those concerns are. Sometimes doctors will pause, listen, and decide to continue the appointment. Other times, if they’re not concerned, I’ll tell them I’ll message them in their portal about it. Either way, I’m at least getting all my concerns on their radar.
- If I’m incredibly nervous, I’ll do breathing exercises, or have my friend do grounding exercises with me. This definitely doesn’t solve everything, but it can keep me calm in the moment.
After appointments
- I always, always prioritize having a little treat after my appointment. Whether that be a coffee, a book, or hanging out with friends, I need to have something to look forward to after an appointment. It makes things feel not as bad, and ensures I still have a little bright spot in my day.
- If I can, I go home after my appointments and decompress. I often lay in bed under 12 blankets and watch a show or play a video game. Letting my body just relax and do something mindless after an adrenaline filled appointment is something I’ve learned I have to do, or else I’m anxious and on edge the rest of the day.
- If I can, I never make follow-up appointments the same day I return from an appointment. This saves me the mental space and energy that I used during the day and prevents me from getting burnt out from medical stuff.
- If I need to, I vent to my friends, partner, or mom that day about how an appointment went. That way, I’m getting my frustrations and anger off my chest the day it happens, instead of bottling them up.
Medical emergencies and surprise visits
When you’re chronically ill, unfortunately, surprise emergency room or urgent care visits happen. It sucks, and you don’t have as much time to mentally prepare as other appointments. But here’s how I deal with them.
- Again, I affirm that I’m in control of the situation and I have the right to say yes or no to treatment options.
- I spend the time in the waiting room drafting out why I’m there, my pre-existing conditions, my med list, when symptoms started, and any other relevant info. Then, I put away any medical stuff and distract myself. Trying to keep myself calm is one of my top priorities, so I’ll talk to whoever is accompanying me about stupid stuff, play a game, or scroll on my phone.
- I’ll go to the bathroom and splash water on my face. Simple, I know, but it helps to ground in the moment
- If I can, I’ll dim the florescent lights to make it less sterile and I’ll put in headphones to block out any of the sounds
- It may sound dumb, but I’ll pretend I’m someone else in those moments. I’ll be a actor on a t.v show or an alien in a strange new land. Putting myself in the headspace that I’m a character with a name and backstory I’ve picked out allows me to distance myself in the moment and gives me something else to focus on other than a potentially traumatic situation.
Overall…
The best accommodations are the ones that work for you. These are just some of the ways that I navigate all the care that comes with chronic illness while simultaneously being traumatized from that care. I know it’s oftentimes easier to push off appointments that you really don’t want to go to, but take it from me, ignoring and avoiding medical settings only works for so long. I wish someone would fix the healthcare system so we don’t have to continuously force ourselves into traumatic situations. Until then, we just have to lean on each other and learn how to survive until we can thrive.
Do you have any tips or tricks you use when entering medical settings? I’d love to hear them!
